So, the way I've independently come around to offering apologies goes like this: 1) Oh FUCK, I didn't have any idea that would do that, I am so sorry, I wouldn't have done that if I'd known it would play out that way, what can I do to fix it? B) [I don't see how I could have made any other choice than I did, but I feel bad that you got hurt by that choice, so] I am very sorry that this hurt you and I want to know what I can do to make it right.
So yeah weregild. Also, the "I wasn't thinking" is a trust-breaker for me; if you didn't know, ignorance is fixable and responsible people learn better and make it right. People who don't think about you have you shit-tastically low on their priority scale, at least in the moment, and without some awfully clearly stated extenuating circumstances laying out why they didn't have spoons enough to think...
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Huh.
So, the way I've independently come around to offering apologies goes like this:
1) Oh FUCK, I didn't have any idea that would do that, I am so sorry, I wouldn't have done that if I'd known it would play out that way, what can I do to fix it?
B) [I don't see how I could have made any other choice than I did, but I feel bad that you got hurt by that choice, so] I am very sorry that this hurt you and I want to know what I can do to make it right.
So yeah weregild. Also, the "I wasn't thinking" is a trust-breaker for me; if you didn't know, ignorance is fixable and responsible people learn better and make it right. People who don't think about you have you shit-tastically low on their priority scale, at least in the moment, and without some awfully clearly stated extenuating circumstances laying out why they didn't have spoons enough to think...