Lost In The Middle Of Somewhere ... Else

Loose ends and burning bridges

2012-09-01T07:46:29Z

For years I've had nightmares about being on a bridge as it breaks, or is flooded, or just goes somewhere I don't want to go. I have no idea if that's at all related to my current emotional dilemma.

Life is going quite well for me, overall. I'm happy with what I'm doing, the relationships I do have time for are working quite well. I have a sense of clarity about where I'm going in many ways. I feel like I've come through a year of tremendous change much improved, and am still making progress, though at less of a breakneck speed.

( So why do I feel so horrible about certain things? )

This whole thing feels so stupid, but I can't seem to get any gauge of where to draw the reality line internally on it.

-E-

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Message from Midgard

2012-06-11T06:23:14Z

"Earth to Ember! Earth to Ember! Please ground in!"

Oops!

Okay, I knew I'd hit a certain degree of radio silence, but it has been brought to my attention recently that said silence is being interpreted rather differently than I expected.

It seems that all the love and time and effort and growth I'm putting into and getting out of my time at the Rabbit Warren is looking somewhat more like I've gotten buried under a burdensome pile of bunnies.

Nope nope nope nope nope [/muppet alien voice]

( Quite the opposite! )

Please bear with me - the Ember is Under Construction!

-E-

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Hi, I'm a genderfluid queer person. There, I said it. Fuck.

2012-03-23T23:46:14Z

This is slightly edited from a post I made to LiminalNation. All I did was remove the references that made it contextual to LN.

*Deep breath* Okay, here goes, and I hope this isn't oversharing, or stupid, or whatever...

( About sexuality, gender, orientation, etc. - mainly mine. )

So NOW what do I do? Crawl into a hole and hope nobody notices?

-E-

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Rant: Fucking One True Wayist Heathen Assholes....

2012-02-16T00:45:22Z

To Whom It May Concern,

I am Vanatru. I am Clergy. I run the Vanic Conspiracy. I love and care for my congregation as dear friends and family. I love and honor the Vanir as dear friends and family. I love and respect the Landwights and Ancstors as dear friends and family. That is the nature of my way.

I am Heathen. I'm in Hrafnar. I work with and love Diana Paxson as my Gythia, and her folk as my folk.

I am a Seidhkona. I am in Seidhjallr, and have recently hived off a new group for my own area to explore Seidh and Galdr and whatever other forms of Northern magic call to us on our own terms.

I'm a spirit worker. I happily associate with Raven Kaldera and many of his friends, including quite a few Lokeans and other Rokkatruar. I get along just fine with Loki. Tricksters respect people who don't run away from Them.

I'm also a headwashed and necklaced Loa child in the American Magic Umbanda House, where I am the Lead Singer, and Little Mother (In Training).*

In all these things, I honor my ancestors. Honoring my Ancestors includes honoring the Celtic powers.

The more I walk my path, the more I find everything falls into place, leading me ever onward. My path is singular and clear. If you find my religion confusing, you should see what it does to my love life sometime - but that's none of your business.

I have friends from many different traditions and I respect and honor their ways, whether I join in their practice or not, in the moment or in the long run. I would be a fool to deny their truths, for it is readily evident that their ways work just as well as mine, and the messages they bring me confirm and support the messages my own ways bring me.

Being a scholar of religion means studying every kind of religion I can find, at least a little. Being a counselor of humans means understanding the many forms of human experience, finding both what unifies us and what makes each of us unique. Being a priestess to the gods means listening to what They ask of me regardless of bullshit human politics.

This IS my path, and I AM sticking to it. And you know what? If you don't LIKE all that about me, you can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

I am Ember

If you are good to me
I will glow for you
I will warm you
I will light your way

If you fuck with me
I will burn you

--Ember--

* As of August 2012 I've stepped up to Alumni in AMUH, and am thus no longer Little Mother (in training), or the primary Lead Singer. As of March 2013 I am released from AMUH and am thus no longer a member.

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