emberleo: A dark-haired woman weaving strands of light (dreaming)
[personal profile] emberleo
Getting dressed for today, I just put on my Oya-of-the-Graveyard necklace (I wore Papa's on Saturday. As usual, I follow my instincts.)

That prompted me to suddenly remember that my dream was full of altar dolls.

The dream that lead into it was an anxiety dream about the possibility that my sister had either already given birth, or was giving birth RIGHT NOW, and my family found me too burdensome to include in our plan for me to help her with my nephew, so they didn't bother telling me. After some kind of argument with my Mom about whether I was more in the way or helpful, and what my intentions should be, and how lazy and/or useless I am at times, I came across Chien.

In the dream, Chien and I lived up near the top of a hill where there were high winds coming from over the crest of the hill, and a wildfire downhill from us. If the winds shifted or abated, our neighborhood would surely be ablaze. Chien had evacuated, but didn't mention any of it to me until after the fact, so I had no chance to get anything that was important to me. I was so angry with him for not even considering that I might need to pack a few things, given the warning time!

So I went back to the house, whether I should have or not - a bit of the smell of smoke in the air, but not enough to see, and no fire in sight. It was easy enough to pick back up the boxed oils and such which would be ruined in a fire, so I focused on what from my Temple couldn't be replaced, and concluded that the most important things were the altar dolls.

Now, I do collect Barbies as well, but in the dream I'd decided that I should focus on saving the unique altar dolls only. So of course, there was my Freyja doll, and Hobbit's Odin doll to pack up, and Oya-Winddancer (who I am keeping until B can take her).

And then I dream-realized I had a whole collection of altar dolls, mostly Oya-Yansa dolls.

One was held in keeping for our recent headwashee. A beautiful rainbow doll - I don't know if it was Oxumare, Ayida Wedo, or Yansa-Mother-of-the-Rainbow. She was blonde with ribbons in every bright color strung into her hair long enough to wrap totally around her body, and I wasn't permitted to look too closely at her otherwise.

I don't remember all the dolls, but I think there was an Isis, and I know there were several others.

Most importantly, one was Oya-Firestorm! I remember pausing to pray to Her to keep the fires away from the house, and pondering whether I should leave that doll behind to keep the house safe. That doll seemed the most MINE of all the African Powers dolls I had. I wish I had a clear image in my head of what She looked like...

Then something got tipped over, and bunch of the dolls fell down, and between the increasing heat and the fall, many of them had arms and legs shattered! I was heartbroken, and got so mad, because for some reason I determined it was all Chien's fault that this happened. I yelled at him, showing him the broken dolls, that this was EXACTLY what I was afraid would happen, and HOW COULD HE?!?! I have no idea what exactly I thought he'd done, but in the dream he was cocky and unapologetic, his expression implying that I shouldn't care so much about dolls anyway.

The dream segued into a doll store where I had the option to buy a bunch of replacement parts, but wasn't sure I could afford them. I wandered around there until I woke up.

Well, most of it is obvious - I'm feeling down on myself, and I guess I'm expecting my loved ones to share my sentiments. For the record, neither my Mom, nor Chien have ever treated me like this in real life, nor do I go about yelling at them all that often!

But the main thing, to me, was the images of the dolls associated with various paths - that so many were Oya, specifically, and the two strongest images of the rainbow doll for my house-sister, and the Oya Firestorm doll for me.

I think I need to start working with a Path of Oya associated with Firestorms! I'm sure I haven't learned all I need from the Paths of the Rainbow, but I guess the first major round of lessons from Rainbows is concluded. This, although the rest of the dream was pretty unhappy, leaves me feeling energized and happy today. :D

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emberleo: A rabbit with antlers eating blackberries (Default)

September 2013

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