Meme: Languages of Love
Sep. 2nd, 2004 02:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emberleoFrom: http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp
Quiz questions phrased like this don't quite work for me - I'm so used to reading around the phrasing to parse the essential logic of the question that I end up thinking "You already asked me this - changing how you phrased it doesn't change my answer. Stop trying to manipulate me into changing my answer!" which makes me answer more consistantly than usual.
But I realize some of this is a deliberate lineup of pairing each of the five things with eachother so that priority can be established. On the one hand I think the priority is actually correct in terms of how I interpret expression of intent, and acceptance of my own expression, and on the other hand I wonder how obvious that is to people who interact with me.
I mean, if you express a desire to spend time with me, I feel loved whether or not we actually find the time. And there are people I love tremendously that I nearly never get to see, but my love for them is measured far better by how much time I spend thinking about them than by how often I am able to be in their presence. There aren't enough hours in the day, days in the year, years in a life for me to spend enough time with everyone I love.
Touch is even more confusing, I imagine, given how jumpy I am about it. It's very true that if you know how to approach me (Which is, what, two people?), I feel very loved by being touched, hugged, etc. by those I love. In general, though, I expect it ends up more important to me that those I love respond positively to being touched by me, because I don't entirely have a choice about how sensitive I am to touch at any given moment, but when I want to be touched enough to reach out, it's usually fairly important to me. I've been working on being better about this for years now, but it's surprisingly difficult - between hypersensitivity, wariness of the sensitivities of others, and a veritable plethora of fears and concerns about everything from changing understood patterns to being rejected outright, I usually just stay self-contained well past the mark.
Time 11
Touch 7
Words 5
Gifts 4
Service 3
--Ember--
Quiz questions phrased like this don't quite work for me - I'm so used to reading around the phrasing to parse the essential logic of the question that I end up thinking "You already asked me this - changing how you phrased it doesn't change my answer. Stop trying to manipulate me into changing my answer!" which makes me answer more consistantly than usual.
But I realize some of this is a deliberate lineup of pairing each of the five things with eachother so that priority can be established. On the one hand I think the priority is actually correct in terms of how I interpret expression of intent, and acceptance of my own expression, and on the other hand I wonder how obvious that is to people who interact with me.
I mean, if you express a desire to spend time with me, I feel loved whether or not we actually find the time. And there are people I love tremendously that I nearly never get to see, but my love for them is measured far better by how much time I spend thinking about them than by how often I am able to be in their presence. There aren't enough hours in the day, days in the year, years in a life for me to spend enough time with everyone I love.
Touch is even more confusing, I imagine, given how jumpy I am about it. It's very true that if you know how to approach me (Which is, what, two people?), I feel very loved by being touched, hugged, etc. by those I love. In general, though, I expect it ends up more important to me that those I love respond positively to being touched by me, because I don't entirely have a choice about how sensitive I am to touch at any given moment, but when I want to be touched enough to reach out, it's usually fairly important to me. I've been working on being better about this for years now, but it's surprisingly difficult - between hypersensitivity, wariness of the sensitivities of others, and a veritable plethora of fears and concerns about everything from changing understood patterns to being rejected outright, I usually just stay self-contained well past the mark.
Time 11
Touch 7
Words 5
Gifts 4
Service 3
--Ember--
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Yeah ...
Date: 2006-09-26 02:09 pm (UTC)7 Words of Affirmation
9 Quality Time
3 Receiving of Gifts
4 Acts of Service
7 Physical Touch