Love and Worship

[emberleo]

So, this will not seem terribly significant to many of you, I'm sure, but it's something I've wrestled with, so it counts as a kind of epiphany to finally put a finger on it this way:

Worship is not an expression of subservience. Worship is an expression of Love. More to the point, Worship is any expression of love.

It happens that Service is a major category for expressions of Love. It happens that Gifts are as well. These seem to be the two most commonly cited forms of Worship. But Verbal Affirmation, Physical Affection, and Time Spent are all expressions of love as well. And to me, a Desire to Know is the essence of Love itself - so anything that qualifies as expressing a desire to get to know me better registers as an expression of love.

Love Languages == Forms of Worship.

What's strange is that my human love languages don't seem to be the same as my divine love languages. With the Gods, my primary form of expression seems to be crafting gifts - my desire to know Them is expressed via an increased ability to make gifts that will please Them.

With humans my primary language seems to be Spending Time. Gifts are actually least significant to me by themselves. Or rather, Financial Expense is least significant to me. Gifts that show an understanding of who I am go over quite well, because they qualify as the result of a desire to get to know me.

But you don't really have to know me all that well to find shinies I will like - I'm a crafty pack-rat with overtly expressed tastes. I'm pretty sure I'm trivially easy to shop for, if all you're aiming for is my "Ooh! Shiny!" reaction. And I will never, ever complain about that, because I really do LIKE the Shinies. ;]

I suspect I have a tendancy to make people who do the giving feel loved simply by readily accepting their expressions of love towards me. Shinies make me demonstrably happy, but that's not quite the same as making me feel loved.

And I think I have finally put a finger on why I always feel just a tiny bit guilty when somebody gives me a shiny that I like - because I know they're trying to make me feel loved, and I know they aren't succeeding as directly in that as they probably think they are, because there's a layer of removal for me. So... it feels a little bit like lying, even though I'm not faking my happiness in the slightest.

--Ember--

Comments

[lysana.livejournal.com]

Just to datapoint, some people give shinies because the shiny said, "I belong to this person, please get me to my proper home." I've been the giver and recipient on those. It helps if you know and care about the person, but sometimes, it's just a cigar.

And I can parse worship as a form of love to where I don't personally see an inherent contradiction, but that may be because I'm that sort of kinky.

[abhasana.livejournal.com]

Someone once said that religion should be more of a love affair. One of my primary spiritual influences is bhakti (devotional) Hinduism and even though I've had to leave anything not Northern Tradition behind when I started my current path, I'm still seeing the dynamics of devotion and relationship where I'm at now.

Worship is an expression of love and can take so many forms; like you, I express my love through art and craft. I don't think they care so much what I create so long as it's created; the process my own heart goes through is also important. It's not subserviance except in the way we are completely subserviant to love and the desire to love.

[mordantcarnival.livejournal.com]

Hello! Are you the same --Ember-- that's on Barbelith? OKay to friend?

[shantak.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's cool. I like your way of thinking. Thanks.

-smk

[rentravler.livejournal.com]

I think I know where you are coming from in the gifts vs love thing. While I am, in fact, a shiny slut, and I do, in fact, love gifts, they also make me feel odd, especially if the person giving it is giving it as an expression of love. Love does not equal things, in my book. So, when I get flowers and gifts of the like (as my boyfriend loves to do), and cards from my various relatives (including my sister), I'm happy to receive them, but I don't want them to take the place of actual love. It's too easy, I think, to hide behind "things" instead of deal with the real emotions and feelings of a given situation. Cards (and the giving of cards) in particular are a pet peeve. what's a card but a hyped-up money maker for Hallmark? People loved each other deeply before Hallmark came around, fer Gods' sakes, yet giving cards is seen as equal to spending time, or meeting souls, or giving really meaningful gifts, or meeting a clear need.

Off of the soapbox now.

[howeird]

The question here I think is how to express love. How to give an outward expression of an inner feeling. I have always been puzzled by the concept of gifts for Gods, because in my universe, a God sees within, and any outward expression of love toward a God is to show other humans how you believe, the Gods already know.

Humans can't see inside other humans, so the outward expression is crucial, be it a hug, a kiss, a shiny or an all-expenses-paid vacation to Maui.

Some not totally un-related comments

[lois2037.livejournal.com]

Maybe you remember me, Lois, formerly of SF and now up in Portland... Tom and I want to express our sorrow for your loss. Rascal was a great cat! She wouldn't have much to do with me on the couple of times I met her, and I respected that. She was definitely Royalty. I get she'll be looking in to make sure you're doing everything up to her high standards!

I really like your take on the word "worship". I seldom use that word because of the implication of begging subservience attached to it. That is certainly not how I feel. Worship as an expression of love--that's it! Coming from a Catholic tradition meant pleading and begging as worship, and not a little grovelling. And yet all the teachings had to do with how much God loved us--didn't make sense to me, even as a kid. I left early. Now I sort of cringe when I see signs outside churches inviting us all to come and worship. Over time, the word had become very heavy, sticky and threatening: unworthy sinners, you MUST bow in worship to be saved!!! Thank you. I'll see about looking at it a little differently now.